As you can see, a lot of things can go wrong here

Producing a human body is complicated business. Probably the most complicated undertaking on earth. And you women can do it.

This miraculous power doesn’t come without strings. Every month, your uterous has to discard it’s lining. Ideally, with perfect timing, your hypothalamus shoots out Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH). Your pituitary feels the tickle of GnRH and produces Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and Luteinizing hormone (LH). The bigger party coaxes your ovaries to produce estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone completing the secret handshake that authorizes your uterine lining to reboot.

As you can see, a lot of things can go wrong here.

Everything from stress (which releases cortisol, GH and norepinephrine (more hormones)), to carbs, to delicious sugar, to lack of sleep, to polution, to fatigue, to poor nutrition, and anything else you can throw in, directly damages the precision of your menstrual cycle. And we all know what that feels like. We call it PMS but the “M” probably should stand for “menace.”

The “Journal of Reproductive Medicine,” says that women who report symptoms of PMS, consume three times the amount of sugar as women who do not report symptoms.

And you women can do it

Your PMS can commonly get bad enough to destroy your work relationships and even your love life. We’ve all seen this happen to someone we know.

Finally, after decades of compromising between maintaining a precision menstrual hormonal balance vs. living a productive yet stressful life in society laced with Cosmotinis, your monthly cycle pauses. But menopause doesn’t happen without a fight. And it fights you tooth and nail.

Women who call in to JBNI.us Naturaceuticals report symptoms so severe that they include the desire to commit suicide, severe depression, extreme anger, cold sweats and hot flashes so hot that they’ve had to change their sheets and take showers in the middle of the night, crushing migraines and worse yet, the inability to go to the bathroom for days.

cold sweats and hot flashes so hot that they’ve had to change their sheets and take showers in the middle of the night

Until recently, one of the most common doctor recommended response to menopausal symptoms was “hormone replacement therapy or HRT.” Logical isn’t it? Your period stops and the agony of menopause starts since your estrogen and progesterone hormone levels drop after about 40 years of PMSing.

But now, doctors are less eager to recommend hormone replacement therapy. After decades of recommendations and observation, it is now clear that HRT presents several side-effects

1. Increased risk of endometrial cancer
2. Slightly higher risk of breast cancer
3. Blood clots leading to:
4. Somewhat higher risk of stroke and heart attack
5. Increased risk of gallbladder disease
We could go on but we’re not in the business of depressing you

So what do we recommend you do? We recommend that you listen to women who have 100% totally eliminated their PMS and Menopause aggravation. They swear by “Cycalign” for PMS and “Fountin” for menopause.

See http://jbni.us/details.html

Try it out for yourself. You have a 90 day money back guarantee. In over 12 years of exclusively distributing JBNI Biodrux Naturaceuticals through doctor’s offices, we have only had two returns. One person ordered the wrong formula. The other returned an almost empty bottle. If you have any questions or would like to talk first, please call 425 408 9091 or directly message JBNI’s Team of Scientists and Physicians at http://jbni.us/forum

Our biggest complaint about both Cycalign and Fountin is that since they leave women 100% symptom-free, no cramping, no tension, and no warning, our women customers have been publicly “embarrassed.” They started having to use a calendar

See http://jbni.us/details.html

A few more things you didn’t know you didn’t know about your monthly euphemism:

1) By the time you enter puberty, you have between 300,000 and 500,000 eggs. Only between 400 and 500 will ripen into mature eggs during your life.

2) The Jewish custom of a mother slapping her daughter at the onset of her first period is a sort of ancient abstinence only education. The idea is to slap some sense into the girl, reminding her not to disgrace the family by getting pregnant out of wedlock.

3) In the Biblical creation story, the name Adam is derived from “adamah,” which can be translated as “bloody loam.”

4) LOX Theatrical Tampons were a brand sold in the United States during the 1930’s. They were designed specifically for actresses as a form of menstrual protection that wouldn’t fall out during stage performances (because it “LOX” in place). Women in the theater profession were among the first in both the US and Europe to use tampons and pads rather than just bleeding into their underclothes.

In the Biblical creation story, the name Adam is derived from “adamah,” which can be translated as “bloody loam.” o_O

5) Strippers who are ovulating average $70 in tips per hour; those who are menstruating make $35; those who are not ovulating or menstruating make $50. There is little to no change for strippers who are on the pill, since it affectively stops ovulation all together.

Strippers who are ovulating average $70 in tips per hour; those who are menstruating make $35

You could take them off the pill of course, but they we’d need a study on what kind of tips pregnant strippers make. Reference: http://www.mum.org/

PS… FCC Disclosure: This blog is produced by JBNI Naturaceuticals who is also the producer of 100% Natural and Herbal Cycalign for Curious PMS Relief and Fountin, 100% Natural and All Herbal Formula for Menopause Relief. Try it out for a month.

… And you didn’t even think there was one did you?

1) A 20-week-old female fetus has approximately 7 million eggs, but is down to 2 million by the time she is born.

2) Some native South American cultures thought that all mankind was created out of “moon blood.”

3) In 18th Century Europe, washing and changing underclothing during their period was regarded as unhealthy, because women feared it would block the bleeding or make it more intense.

washing and changing underclothing during their period was regarded as unhealthy

4) The Draghi tampon, invented in 1959 by Andre Draghi, was designed for early cancer detection. The idea was that women could insert it themselves and send it off to a laboratory or physician who would examine it for abnormalities like cancer. It spared women and doctors the time necessary to accomplish the same thing in the doctor’s office.

5) Ancient Egyptians considered menstrual blood a remedy for many beauty problems, including sagging breasts. However, it was never used to treat conditions in men.

Ehem.

FCC Disclosure: http://JBNI.us Naturaceuticals produces this blog, Cycalign for PMS and Fountin for Menopause Relief. Sample Them.

NEXT: 5 MORE Fun Facts About Menstruation by Katrina Hamilton @noodledrive

Endometriosis is a term you might have heard mentioned before, but never knew anything about. But it’s a condition affecting 5% to 10% of women. This may seem like a small number at first, but name off ten women you know and consider for a second that statistically one of them already has it, and things suddenly seem more pressing.

Endometriosis is when the tissue that normally lines the uterus (endometrium) grows in other parts of the body. There are about a dozen symptoms of Endometriosis, nearly all of them starting with the word pain. Painful cramps, pain during sex, pain in the lower back, pain, pain, pain. However, just because you don’t feel it doesn’t mean you don’t have it, since the severity of the case doesn’t equal the severity of symptoms. A woman could walk around with uterine lining growing in her fingers and not even know it.

When endometrium grows in and around the ovaries it can cause endometriomas, also known as Chocolate Cysts. These nasty brown bubbles can rupture and lead to more pelvic pain, but I’d say the real problem here is that we let doctors name things. Just imagine trying to explain your important doctor visit to an overly concerned friend at a cocktail party. Throw out a known condition like Lupus or something unrecognizable like hyalophagia and no one bats an eyelash. But tell them a name like Chocolate Cyst and they’ll keep asking you questions until everyone at the party is so overly informed about your uterine health that you’re left alone at the chip and dip table with nothing but your severe abdominal pain for company.

Maybe doctors need to take a page out of Augustus Gloop’s book and realize that chocolate doesn’t make everything better.